Sucker Punch

Since Hamilton and Micah aren't posting at all, and I am finding myself with an abundance of free time, I'm gonna hit them with a Sucker Punch........ or just make bad jokes till they kick me off their blog. Ok trailer review lets go. First here is the trailer.

The trailer opens with the image of a woman being buried while her children watch. We hear a voice over of (one of my personal heartthrobs) Emily Browning telling us that she has lost everything and blah, blah abuse, blah, blah, murder, blah, mental institution. lets get to the parts people care about. WAAAAH! Led Zeppelin, how'd they get them? No one gets Led Zeppelin. But seriously, someone put Emily Browning in a school girl outfit and made her clean floors, she's pissed. Time to bust outta this joint.

Annie was right it is a hard knock life!

But, for Miss Browning (please let it be Miss), or Baby Doll (I did the research this time), just escaping Lennox House isn't enough because as the trailer says "Reality is a Prison." So, if we can't escape in real life, how are we going to escape, well good thing we have ballet class. The one Leo must have attended before filming Inception. Here we learn that our imagination can set us free.

Sorry, I couldn't hear you over my boner.

Ok now we are shown what the movie will really be about, the crazy mix and match of every possible style and genre imaginable. Zac Snyder took it upon himself to place in this movie every thing he thinks is cool. That's why there is a cowboy robot riding a dragon in the trailer. Gotcha. We are however treated to a war torn WWII? era city, ancient japanese pagoda's, floating trains, and I don't know I think the dragon was on a castle.

Master of the house. Keeper of the inn.

The trailer decides to hit us with a little more story and we get to hear Scott Glenn deliver some cheesy lines in a cheesy way over some break-neck speed editing. We are told the heroes will need 5 things, and the trailer visually asserts that each thing will correspond to one of the settings Zac Snyder has crafted into the film. The five things they need are a map, fire, a knife, a key and well big surprise- the last thing is a mystery. I'm sure we will all be racking our brains over that one.

One down, 4 to go. Man I really wish I knew what the mystery item was.

The trailer at this point is really just trying to push us to the very edge of an action-gasm. Between mechs shooting down dirigibles, dog fighting a dragon in a WWII era biplane, and sword fighting giant stone samurai with gatling guns, I am a little ashamed to say it but I'm almost there. Then Scott Glenn turns around and delivers this little gut buster, "If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything."

That's what she said!

This almost ruins things for me, but I am not deterred. I plan on going to this movie. You know exactly what you are getting when you go to a Zac Snyder film at this point, a stylized visual overload, and this trailer is honest about what we are going to see, and pushes that point, while also clueing us in on the plot, while leaving out enough to intrigue. Yeah there is that cheesy line, but it feels in place for the movie. I know I won't be moved by the character's plight, but i will be swept away by the visuals.

4 Secret items out of 5 (because the last is a mysterious mystery)

-Andrew Carey