The Mechanic

Everyone who loves Jason Statham say yeah! Really that many. Wow. Everyone who loves Ashton Kutcher say Yeah! No one, good this is the usual audience.

Ok so for my third post in a row, ehem, I mean this episode of The Small Cinema. We will take a look at the trailer for the new dramatic feature The Mechanic, what, It's an action movie? But it has Donald Sutherland. He doesn't do action, that's Keifer's job. What he stared in The Italian Job with Statham. Your shitting me IMDB. What Hamilton? No, not the french name. I won't. Damn it.

On this exciting episode of Le Cinema Petite we are treated with the trailer to the action packed re-team of D Suth and J Stat. Transporter 4. Sorry, The Mechanic. Here is the trailer.

The Trailer opens with J Stat pinning up pictures of dangerous looking business types, and mean mugging while firing guns. J Stat talks over this telling us that, "What I do requires a certain mind set."

That target looks so stupid. I want to shoot it in it's stupid face. Stupid!

Audience, set your mind to mindless. Some shots of expensive cars, and money being flipped though fingers later, and we know that J Stat is an assassin. When I started the trailer I thought he was a florist. J stat tells us "some jobs need to look like accidents. So he blows someone up in a gasoline fire that is fit for Zoolander. Everyone will assume it was a freak gasoline fight accident.

What a waste of orange mocha frappe-chinos.

Then he drowns some guy in his own private pool, because the "best jobs are the ones, no one knows your there." From the dudes facial hair I'm guessing someone is offing this guy for being too good with the ladies. Enter D Suth, finally, he knows he's better than J Stat, because J is a "damn machine." Then J stat jumps off a bridge. I don't know. Action Shots. Wait machines need mechanics. What? This movie is deep. they talk about D Suth's son, wait is Keifer in this? Then D Suth says his son's a disappointment. Okay so it's not Keifer.

Title cards flash

Generic Line.

Well of course it is but, wait... What! They killed D Suth! Well somebody better do something about that.

Until it stays a Generic Line.

Oh Shit! J Stat is about to kick some booty. D Suth's character's son shows up and wants to learn the tricks of the trade. J Stat asks "You know what a mechanic is?" A guy who fixes cars? "A hitman." Son boy answers stoically. Well I guess I was wrong.

Anyway more guns and explosions, and Son boy is ready. Now it's time to get that dude who killed our Mentor and/or Dad.

I can only show so many explosions before they get repetitive.

More action shots and I'm getting bored with it so, blah, blah, blah. Inset sweet tag line "A good Mechanic is hard to find." What? That's the title. So, bad guy throws bad guys at good guys, and taunts, "You think you can get to me before I get to you?" It looks like they will.

I hope it's not those damn Jehovah's Witnesses again.

More action, titles, and fade to black.

I want to give this trailer an in depth review of what works and doesn't, but I'm so board by the end of it I can't. It shows that there will be action, but it hints that we might get tired of it mid way into the movie. I hope people don't think me an action hater, but man, I was done with explosions about half way through this trailer.

2.5 intense taglines out of 5

-Andrew Carey