Resident Evil: Afterlife

Alright ladies and gentlemen, after a long break La Cinema Petit is back with another review of the previews. This time its the trailer for the latest in the Resident Evil series, Resident Evil: Afterlife.



I'm going to be very frank in this review, I hate this trailer/soon to be terrible movie so much that I can't even bring myself to cover it up with witty sarcasm and fake praise. Why do I loathe this monstrosity with such passion? Well if you were to say Avatar was what good can come from 3-D (I don't agree with that), then this is the ass-end of 3-D and the reason why it will ultimately fail.

We open up with the very standard post apocalyptic montage that shows "These are all iconic symbols but they're destroyed!!@$!@!!" This time its what I believe is the city of Los Angeles and of course the Hollywood letters(Shocking...). Then the plane lands in a field of other planes. This scene got my hopes up. For a brief moment I thought "Is this going to be Flyboys meets Resident Evil?" All of these hopes are dashed when we get more recycled Resident Evil stuff, but then this happens:
What? First of all, neither of those people are in anyway involved with this movie( It doesn't have a 12 gagillion dollar budget for Cameron, and really who cares about Vincent Pace). Second, all this slide is is a desperate attempt to say "You remember how cool Avatar looked, well we are using the same stuff." For everyone out there who thought the way Avatar looked made up for the fact that it had a sinkhole of a story, here are the consequences of that thinking. Trailers used to sell story (or at least tried to convince us that one existed), but this one is just selling us the Fusion Camera System, because apparently that makes up for everything. Its the fix-all for blockbuster movies.
For all of you who forgot what the Fusion Camera system was the trailer reminds us (or in my case lights another match and throws it on the soon to be bonfire of anger I have toward this trailer). Are you excited yet? Still love what 3-D is going to do for movies? Well with all of this 3-D technology how can the movie not have scenes like...
For the sake of fairness there is probably a very good motivation for why he would throw his sunglasses straight at the camera (in slow motion) that doesn't include "We just blew the bank on the fusion camera system now lets use it!" Prediction: Of the people that actually pay the absurd price to see this movie at least 25% will reach in the air to touch the sunglasses. I don't want that prediction to be right.
If someone does end up seeing this can you please take a notepad and keep track of how many times something explodes/flies/comes toward the audience. I would really like to know.

Finally we go through a bunch of action sequences and blah blah blah, when finally...
This is when I officially hated this movie. That is all I have to say(Sigh...).

Did the Trailer Work:
No. All that this trailer did was prove that 3-D is going to fall back into the same terrible place that it always has. It is becoming a gimmick yet again and the sooner it goes away the better.

0 3-D gimmicks out of 5.
Micah Russell